Forgiving Doesn’t Require Boatloads of Faith

Jesus had just said, “‘If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.’ The apostles said to the Lord, ‘Increase our faith!’ He replied, ‘If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.’” (Luke 17:3–6)

In other words, it doesn’t take much faith to forgive someone. Even faith as small as a mustard seed is adequate. It’s not that forgiving is necessarily easy, but Jesus expects all of His children to do it. Jesus was using hyperbole when He told Peter not to stop forgiving someone after seven times, but to continue on to “seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18:22). Some translations say Jesus said “seventy times seven”.

Either way, it means that I am not to stop forgiving. It may be a small thing to overlook minor infractions, but some wounds are so deep that every time you see the person or recall the offense, it’s like ripping away an unhealed scab once again.

Here are ten questions people have asked over the years:

• To forgive someone, do they need to first come to me, admitting their offense and apologizing? You might be waiting for a very long time. Either they are too embarrassed or totally unaware that they have offended you.
• What if they don’t deserve my forgiveness? They may not, but forgiving them is for your benefit, not theirs.
• Do I have to tell my offender face-to-face that I forgive him? Not if you feel unsafe around them. Often you are unable to locate or even identify them. Even then, though, you can forgive them.
• If I remember the incident, and get angry again, does that mean that I really never forgave them before? The incident likely will come back to your memory, and you’ll need to remind yourself that you’ve already forgiven them.
• If I forgive them, is it an admission that I shouldn’t have gotten angry or felt violated, in the first place? Not at all.
• If I forgive them, am I supposed to become friends with them, or trust them in the future? No, you are wise to set boundaries so as not to be hurt again.
• Does my forgiveness absolve them of guilt and justice? If their offense was criminal, they still have to face the authorities and pay for their crime. You aren’t going to be their judge and jury, though.
• If I struggle to forgive them, does that mean that I’m being ungrateful for the Lord’s forgiveness? Not necessarily. It may be because you appreciate His forgiveness that you are trying to forgive others.
• Can I forgive someone even if they are dead? Sometimes the offender was a parent, and they died years ago. Forgiving them frees you from them having a hold on you from the grave.
• My offender is a family member. Every time I see them, their words hurt me all over again. What am I to do? Limit being around them as much as you can. But forgiving them is still necessary for your personal well-being.

Forgiving is God’s means of flushing the toxins of hatred and bitterness from our lives. Until we forgive, our offender continues to wield control over us. Jesus wants to free us from those emotional chains.

While forgiving may not take much faith, it does require God’s grace. Until we have tasted God’s forgiveness for our own sins, forgiving others is a lot harder and bitterness is a lot easier. “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:15)

If you haven’t yet asked Jesus to forgive you and take up leadership in your life, do so today.